Are you battling fear? Of course you are. You, unless the cat has learned to log in, are human. I am both human (though debated historically) and a warrior in the battle against fear. My husband has a lemon of a liver, for those of you who haven't been following the bouncing ball, so I've been flexing my fear-vanquishing muscles a bit of late. I encourage you to read more about Primary Scolering Cholingitis. It's a sweetheart of a disease, hard to detect, rare, and the only treatment is transplant. He's 38. Congratulations! We're having a liver!
Whoa, isn't Eliska supposed to make with the funny? Don't click away yet. It is, as the kids say, all good. I'm coping well. And as usual only thinking of you, dear reader, and how to pass along all the wonderful wisdom I am mining from this unique experience (okay, you may or may not be sniffing a whiff of sarcasm in the air now).
Because I'm not going to blow sunshine up your skirt: there are some pretty impressive fear triggers. Life-threatening diseases are up there. But I've acquired some skills out of necessity that help you cope when anxiety is really shaking you by the lapels.
Get good at healthy self soothing. Sorry, folks, this does not include (perhaps sadly) margaritas, valium, macaroni and cheese or Ben and Jerry's, retail therapy, or casual sex. Although these are some time-honored tricks widely used to calm down, they tend to be on the self-destructive side. No, I now have the A, B, C, and Ds I do every day to keep everything in check: organic, mostly plant-based diet, check. Vigorous moving about often, check. Professional counseling: check and check. Girlfriends at which to moan, rail, and laugh, check. And meditation and yoga are the new xanax...they just take a little longer to swallow. I'm not disciplined, just that fragile.
Check yo head. Your thinker is your best friend or worst enemy. Forcing yourself in any situation to find the positive, even if you're not feeling it, can at least give you a sarcastic laugh. Example: you run red light and nearly kill me. Instead of "I will follow that man and pull him from his car for a beating," the new choice is "Oh my. Perhaps his wife is about to draw her last breath at the hospital." You can pour fire on the problem by telling yourself, "I will die alone and a bag lady with a shopping cart filled with cats." I prefer the cool water of, "I can make myself totally safe by opening my heart and loving." Actively attend to what you are grateful for. Which dovetails nicely into...
Friend God. Can you tell I've recently reactivated my Facebook account? Listen, I'm not religious, which is tantamount to Ellen saying she's not into men. But I've been developing a relationship with my HP (Higher Power, not Hewlett Packard, you geeks) all my life despite the antics of Jesus' followers. Science supporting spirituality: energy is neither created or destroyed. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Think of a person, an event, a coincidence that changed your life for the better: the odds are astronomical that it happened. Highly improbable...but it happened. Odds are much higher for other outcomes. Look into becoming a believer. Spirituality, however it looks, is comforting and meaningful.
Give and get good face. Y'all, I love Twitter and Facebook and my lovely blog. But God help us if the electricity goes out and we actually have to look up from our iPhones to help one another. Please, if you are out with me, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR PHONE. I know I am old. Perhaps even greedy for your attention. Nay, even needy as a Hollywood starlet! I will own it. But to ignore cashiers while you chat (please God, keep me from turning on the next woman I hear out say, "Nothing...I'm just in Target...") is bad enough. Please don't make me share you with your plentyoffish.com profile.
Always my pleasure to help out. These are just a few tips for handling fear and her lovely cousin Anxiety. I hope you got a chuckle even if the advice is bunk. I gots, as I always say, more. Feel free to reach out if you're interested in more on this topic or anything else under the wellness sun.
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