Who the hell uses celery seed and what aisle is it on??

I just gots to give a shout out to the other women who are doing exactly what I am today...wondering where the hell the flour sifter is and if it could be actually possible that I haven't used it since 1998. Kitchen Bouquet? Are you kidding me? What IS that, and what's in it? And if you're checking gramma's recipe, WHAT EXACTLY IS OLEO and on what planet can I procure it???

Time for several belly breaths. I mean, was it really necessary for me to create and decorate both gingerbread men and sugar cookies with the kids? And made chocolate candy? AND my grandmother's signature dessert (actually, it's funny: both sides of the family had the recipe. The Catholic side called it Better Than Sex and the Baptist side called it Sin. Makes sense).

But I digress. All I know is between three meals, two snacks, and two deserts today combined with two casseroles tomorrow I have officially flipped my culinary wig. Not counting the trip to the grocery store (the third in as many days!), I have been on my feet cooking and cleaning more than Florence from The Jeffersons. Have I mentioned my recalcitrant family will probably wrinkle their collective nose at my beloved, traditional family dishes as well, just to make all this furious activity a little more insane?

Just a reminder, ladies. I know you're out there, going great guns in the final 48 hours. You're infusing all the food with tons of love and perhaps a pinch of resentment when folks don't notice and appreciate your toiling as much as you'd like. It's fever pitch time...except it really doesn't have to be.

Realize: It comes without pumpkin pie spice as well as boxes and bags (and what's up with that cheat anyway?? Back in my Momma's day you used your three separate bottles of cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice all together...and you liked it!).

Enjoy this time. They won't remember what they ate, but they will remember Yulezilla. Peace on Earth, darlings, and pass the potatoes flavored with the best kind of Christmas spirit.



 

Word up, Dr. Drew...

"We have gone through a 30-year period where terribly unhealthy things that contribute to unhappiness have been normalized as 'just another choice,' just another way of doing things, when in fact that's bullshit. Divorce is an extremely unhappy, extremely stressful, extremely problematic thing. Thank god it's an option for some people. But...it impacts people's mental health. The least it does it create problems around intimacy until the fourth decade of life. It tends to normalize after that. But it takes people to their 30s or 40s to, under the best of situations, to expunge the experience. That's a lot of suffering. And that's often a lot of failed relationships and other failed relationships and more children exposed to divorce. The problem with divorce is that people consider it an option. You just shouldn't consider it an option unless it's absolutely necessary."

Dr. Drew, y'all....