Ooh, an aggressive title got your attention! Stay tuned for the twist, though, because my thesis is multi-layered. Here's my unsolicited advice of the day: you really need to get off your cell phone during certain times. Tweeting during funerals, for example, should be widely panned. Texting and driving makes you a nightmare. And don't get me started about cell phones during date night....Grrrr.
I know, I know, I have the electronic tether too. Emails, tweets, calls, texts, daily calendar reminders all make my pants vibrate every other minute just like yours. But there's one time in particular I want to talk about when it's really, really important to step away from the Crackberry that doesn't get much attention.
Whether you are a dad or a mom, if you are a parent whose children attend school or daycare, I implore you to not be staring at/talking to an electronic device when either picking up or dropping off your kid/s. Of course, those of y'all who know me are aware as a counselor, I'm big into the concept of mindfulness: being here now. And I get it that Megatronics Corp expects you to do those conferences calls at their beck, so to speak.
But partings and comings-together are incredibly important in your relationship with your children. They need and deserve your full attention when leaving for school. School time might have been awhile back for you, but this is their life and challenge now. They're small or young, and this is their gladiator arena. They want to look in your eyes as they go in, see your smile, see your calm assurance for and interest in them. They need kisses and hugs for which you are actively present.
Pick-up time is key as well...your child, whether or not they act like it, want to know you are interested in seeing them again, interested in the story (even though teens can make it tough). They want to nestle back into the family, feel snug again. They may wear their heinie on their shoulders, but this tendency does not make it any less true that they crave your attention as much as any two year old.
Thank God for the concept of good-enough parenting. I hardly claim to be the perfect mother (actually milk might come out of my family's collective nose at my making that proclamation), but being in counseling practice and by being dragged into maturity by my own brood, I have figured out that you don't need to be perfect...or anything near. Like Woody Allen says about life, turns out 80% of good parenting is just showing up.
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